Later this week, MLS fans will be able to settle down in front of their TVs to watch Seattle Sounders square off against Philadelphia Union safe in the knowledge that, yes, there will in fact be a season to enjoy this year, thanks to the labor agreement reached on Saturday in Washington, DC. Neither the players nor the owners seem overjoyed with the agreement, but both sides have STFU for the time being, and that's good enough for us (if I had to read one more tweet from Taylor Twellman about the matter I think I might have lost it). To be perfectly honest, we, like a lot of fans, were starting to feel like we were in labor. The new CBA has been one hell of an epidural.
With that behind us (whew!), it's now time for us to make outrageous predictions so that we can be suitably embarrassed at the end of the season. So today we are introducing the inaugural TVN Bold Predictions. Homebrew, viper and I have been poring over the spreadsheets and watching hours and hours of video in preparation. Well, not really - the DVD player broke so we mostly just ate pizza and threw darts at a list of teams and players with a blindfold on... but it's the effort that counts, right?
Rather than trying to predict the point totals or go team by team, we have each selected the clubs we expect to make the playoffs (ranked 1-8), as well as the respective conference champs, MLS Cup winner, MVP, golden boot winner, rookie of the year, manager of the year, winner of the "sack race" and bust of the year ('cause if you know us we're negative like that). Each of us has also provided 3 Bold Predictions, which are now certain never to come true. As you can see, we're all just a wee bit optimistic about the season ahead for the Red Bulls. Is it just pre-season optimism, or will they continue to build on the momentum they've created?
So, with no further ado (and with a massive grain of salt) let's gaze deeply into the crystal ball...
Homebrew
Top 8 Clubs:
1. Los Angeles Galaxy
2. Chicago Fire
3. New York Red Bulls
4. Columbus Crew
5. Real Salt Lake
6. New England Revolution
7. Chivas USA
8. FC Dallas
Eastern Conference Champion: New York Red Bulls (yeah, really)
Western Conference Champion: Los Angeles Galaxy
MLS Cup: Los Angeles Galaxy
MVP: Landon Donovan, Los Angeles Galaxy
Golden Boot: Landon Donovan, Los Angeles Galaxy
Rookie of the Year: Tim Ream, New York Red Bulls
Manager of the Year: Hans Backe, New York Red Bulls
Sack Race: Frank Yallop, San Jose Earthquakes
Bust of the Season: Danny Allsopp, DC United
3 Bold Predictions:
- You read it in the list above. The New York Red Bulls, under the stewardship of coach Hans Backe, turn their 2009 disaster into an Eastern Conference Championship. Their solid defence, led by a reinvigorated (could he actually be younger?) Mike Petke, and Rookie of the Year Tim Ream will hold the fort, while the midfield provides great service to captain Juan Pablo Angel. The addition of a second DP after the World Cup will bring the Red Bulls flying into the post-season.
- Seattle won't even make the playoffs this year. Owner Drew Carey won't have many opportunities to bring out his smiling face this season, telling us it's all about the fans. He'll be too busy putting on his angry face in the front office. They'll have an average season, finally thwarted by the fixture congestion of the US Open Cup and CONCACAF Champions League.
- The New York Red Bulls, playing in their new Cathedral of Football, will average at least 20,000 fans in attendance this season. Red Bull Arena will become a hotter and hotter ticket as a season of success progresses. More and more posts on Red Bull message boards will tell stories of fans who abandoned the team when they became the Red Bulls, now being called home to worship in their new cathedral. Branding issues will die, except for a few determined souls who will cling to their frankly pathetic hang-ups. Most importantly, the game-day experience - from the easy train ride in, the urban setting, the beautiful arena, and ultimately, the exciting brand of soccer that Coach Backe has the team playing - will create an environment that people will want to enjoy again and again. If I've said it once to the naysayers, I've said it 100 times - an exciting team of likeable players, playing good soccer in the best stadium in North America will bring and retain fans. It's all about the game-day experience, and you won't find a better one than Red Bull Arena.
Who Shot Sam
Top 8 Clubs:
1. Real Salt Lake
2. Columbus Crew
3. New York Red Bulls
4. Houston Dynamo
5. Seattle Sounders
6. Los Angeles Galaxy
7. Chicago Fire
8. New England Revolution
Eastern Conference Champion: Columbus Crew
Western Conference Champion: Houston Dynamo
MLS Cup Winner: Houston Dynamo
MVP: Juan Pablo Angel, New York Red Bulls
Golden Boot: Robbie Findley, Real Salt Lake
Rookie of the Year: Danny Mwanga, Philadelphia Union
Manager of the Year: Hans Backe, New York Red Bulls
Sack Race: Preki, Toronto FC
Bust of the Season: Julian De Guzman, Toronto FC
3 Bold Predictions:
- The Galaxy finish the season with neither Beckham nor Landycakes on their roster. Goldenballs decides to hang up his golden balls after rehabbing from surgery. Over the protestations of Bruce Arena Donovan is sold to an English premier League club for somewhere in the neighborhood of $9-10 million. Arena quits at the end of the season after the Galaxy get knocked out of the playoffs.
- After playing footsie with every government entity in the greater Potomac region, DC United finally unveil a stadium deal - in Omar Little's hometown of Baltimore. Oh indeed. Rending of clothing and tearing of hair ensues in the nation's capital.
- Despite strong fan support and decent rookie season from Danny Mwanga, Philadelphia Union fail to "do a Seattle" and finish a distant 7th in the East, out of the playoff picture and ahead of only Toronto FC, whose manager, Preki, leaves mid-way through the season after a spectacular locker room bust up with Nick Garcia (OK maybe that's two predictions in one, but cut me some slack here).
viper
Top 8 Clubs:
1. Houston Dynamo
2. Chicago Fire
3. New York Red Bulls
4. Columbus Crew
5. Real Salt Lake
6. Seattle Sounders
7. New England Revolution
8. Colorado Rapids
Eastern Conference Champion: Chicago Fire
Western Conference Champion: Houston Dynamo
MLS Cup Winner: New York Red Bulls
MVP: Juan Pablo Angel, New York Red Bulls
Golden Boot: Freddy Montero, Seattle Sounders
Rookie of the Year: Tim Ream, New York Red Bulls
Manager of the Year: Hans Backe, New York Red Bulls
Sack Race: Peter Vermes, Kansas City Wizards
Bust of the Season: The Entire Toronto FC Team
3 Bold Predictions:
- The Red Bulls coming in 2nd will guarantee home field advantage throughout the first two playoff rounds. Can they make it to Final? We'll that's the magic question. My gut feeling is that, yes, they can make it to the final with the equipazo that Mr. Backe is putting together. If the Final is at RBA, then the Red Bulls win the whole thing this year.
- As far a the Western Conference, I'm thinking that the League is going to sell Landycakes for a ridiculous amount to Chelsea (not Everton) and with Becks not being able to run until September, they are going to be crap out of luck as far as making the playoffs. In the West, Houston comes in first, then Real Salt Lake, then Seattle, then Colorado. Kansas City miss out on the playoffs and Peter Vermes will get the sack.
- The Red Bulls will do the double over DC United and the Triple over the Philadelphia Union (2 MLS and one Open Cup game). Flop of the year will go to Toronto FC (even Preki won't save them). They'll come to RBA with one of their silly banners (yet again) and will look incredibly foolish (yet again) when their team is stuffed by the Red Bulls (yet again).
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