Sunday, April 22, 2012

Matchday @RFK: DC United vs Red Bulls

Good afternoon! It's matchday again and this time our beloved team travels south, to that crumbling structure I affectionally refer to as Lair of The Great Satan for another epic struggle against The Forces of Darkness. That's right! It's another titanic, good vs evil, must win, season defining fixture against the much hated DC United (6:00pm ET, ESPN2, ESPN Deportes, ESPN3, match notes here). The black-shirts, with the pretentious Euro-douche name, are our most despised rival and it's time for their annual drubbing (4-0 last year and 2-0 in 2010), courtesy of the New York Red Bulls. Well, we can only hope that's the case. While we wait for game time, let's see how both teams come into this one.

The Red Bulls are coming off a disappointing home draw, against the San Jose Earthquakes, and are suffering from massive defensive woes. Wilman Conde and Teemu Tainio, stalwarts at the back, are still out through injury. They're joined this week on the sidelines by by non-stalwart left back Roy Miller. With Rafa Marquez (who will be serving his first game of a 3 game suspension) and Juan Agudelo (injury) also out, the Red Bulls will be missing 5 regulars today and will face a major reshuffling of their line-up. Let's hope that good is triumphant over evil today..

DC United is coming off a disappointing home draw of their own, a 1-1 midweek affair against the expansion Montreal Impact. That said, Satan's minions are unbeaten in 5 matches and will look forward to keeping that streak alive. Their consumate douchebag of a manager faces some line-up decisions of his own but his players will feel they hold the advange defensively. The douchebag DC fans will also feel confident in that a victory can be their today. I say, let's stick it to them boys! And with that, let's get down to some predictions:

Matt Conroy (aka Who Shot Sam) has this for us:

We're missing a ton of players, but I just have a feeling that our scoring ability will be enough to get us something out of this game. Assuming that RFK doesn't collapse, I am predicting a 3-2 victory to the Red Bulls, with Henry, Cooper and Lindpere scoring.
I know that we're going to have Holgersson, Keel and Lade (not to mention Solli) in the back today, but I'm still going to go out on a limb and say that the Red Bulls will come out of this on with a 3-1 victory (KFC w/2 and TH14 with the other). Tom Faust Has this for us:
This game is gonna be, as the kids say, "cray." We'll have 2-3 untested players and, more importantly, an XI that has had less than a week to gel. Communication will be critical. Despite this handicap and against all reason, I'm relying on Henry to will the Red Bulls to a 2-0 win over the Scum.

David Kilpatrick (aka Dr.K.) has this for us:

Worried the injuries and suspension leave us far too depleted to destroy the Scum. Henry won't let us lose, though, so despite my eternal optimism a 3-3 final might not be such an awful result in that Hellhole.

Last, but not least, the great You Suck Corrales has this for us:

I really can't see us losing. And actually I think not having the black hole in midfield that is Marquez is to our benefit. At least with Dax and Mehdi in there, there will be two guys throwing themselves around trying to make something happen. They might fuck up but at least they will be giving everything. And Lade for Miller is not a bad trade off. Conde is really the only guy we will really miss. Anyway I am calling for a win. I wish I could make it down there. It will be 4-2 NYRB with Kenny FUCKING Cooper and Thierry getting 2 each.

Wow! It's not only Earth Day, it's also Positivity Day around here, with four predictions of victory and one prediction of a draw. Let's just hope we don't lose to the Scum. With that, I bid you adieu and will hope to see you all next time @The Cathedral of Football, Red Bull Arena (built by Makita). Viper Out!

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